Hi Mom!

So you want to hear about me eh? Hmmm...How is Shavonne? I dunno. She
hasn't been around in a while. I feel like I spent the first part of
my mission desperately struggling to stay above water. Now that I have
reached my "hump" mark, I feel like there are so many things I should
know how to do and I just don't. How truly humbling to know that we
really need the Lord to do His work. There is no way we could do it
ourselves.

How do I feel about the stage of life I am in? Well, let me tell you.
In the beginning, I was nervous and excited. In my 2nd area, I was
frustrated and upset. (with myself of course. We both know what a
perfectionist I am.) Now that I have reached this point in the
mission, I have realized two important things: 1.) I am not perfect.
2.) This work needs to move forward, regardless of how I feel about
myself. Hmmmm...there is an unfortunate common theme in those
realizations. "I". This work is not about me. This work is about the
people who need this gospel. I spent so much time focusing on my own
growth so I could be a benefit to others but I realized that the time
to prepare and focus on me was before my mission. Once you are here,
you HAVE to focus on the people or they will never progress.

My biggest challenge right now is being dignified. I feel like I don't
fully represent my Savior the way I should. Like you said, I'm STILL
avoiding growing up at all costs. But this past week has really taught
me how to be more mature. How to be a better representative of the
name I bear on my chest.

We have an investigator who I suspect is only meeting with us because
he misses the sister missionary who wrote him years ago. I am guilty
of many times being too light hearted when it is time to be serious. I
don't really know when to stop sometimes. It's my coping mechanism I
guess. Anywho I really hope the Lord will guide us to know what to do
with him. We really want him to progess because he wants to progress.

My greatest joy right now is the upcoming baptism this Saturday. This
woman is not one of our investigators but she will be a member of our
ward. She is the kindest woman I have met! She started reading the
Book of Mormon earlier last year but didn't want to officially
investigate the church yet. I met her at the ward Halloween party and
talked to her a little bit about the Book of Mormon. She and her
husband met with the bishop almost two months ago to announce that she
was officially investigating the church! The elders invited her to be
baptized and she accepted! She has been telling everyone about her
baptism. It's so amazing to me to see someone go from not too
interested to having been pricked in her heart with the Spirit of the
Lord. No 19-22 year old young adult could do that to a person.

The most fascinating part of life here in California is everyone's
need to have tamales for Christmas and New Years. I have never seen
someone get so upset about missing out on that tradition until this
year. (I actually wasn't even aware of that tradition until this
year.)

There is a lady in our ward who really loves us. She asked months ago
what food we wanted for Christmas/New Years. I wasn't going to say
anything but she pressured me! So I mentioned my love for lil'
smokies. Well, Christmas and New Years came and no lil' smokies. "Oh
well," I thought to myself, "She probably just forgot. It's okay."
Well on New Years day she comes up to us at church and says, "Sisters!
I have food for you in my car! Two cartons of lil' smokies and
meatballs and veggies! I forgot to give them to you on Christmas Eve
because they were buried in my freezer but I found them just for you!"
Those were the most delicious smokies I've ever had. This woman
doesn't have much but she always saves up enough money to feed the
missionaries each month because she receives so many blessings in
return. It makes me feel less guilty about eating her food when she
reminds us of the blessings she receives.

Sister Ding and I have been hitting the area with music. We are
preparing musical numbers for our ward and the upcoming departure
fireside. I had forgotten how much I love music. I can't believe I
ever tried to put it on hold. I'm seriously considering putting forth
a more diligent effort to chase my musical dreams. I don't know yet
though. I'm also learning the value of being realistic.

Well, I think I've chatted enough here in this letter. I love you so
much! I hope all is well at home. How's the weather in Indiana btw?
Our ward mission leader here served in the Indianapolis mission and
keeps asking me how Indiana is...but I don't ever have anything to
tell him...oops! :D

Sister Fielding