No email from Shavonne this week

My dear blog followers...

Although Shavonne did not send an email for the blog this week, she did get an email sent to her father who forwarded it on to me to post (remember, she is typing with only her left hand).  Most of this note, however, is addressing an email she received from her dad.  I thought it was important to let you know this so you'd understand the foundation of the email you are about to read.

Please keep Shavonne in your prayers. 

Here is the text from her email to her father:

Hi Dad,

Your email found me more or less broken with only hope and faith keeping me together. my mission president called me up on Tuesday to let me know that it's okay to take sacred time out...that means go home, get my shoulder all shrixed up then come back. sounds easy right? NO!!!!!! I like what you said about your leg being your "Liberty Jail" experience. This is my refiner's fire. I have the ability to just call it quits. no questions asked and no black mark on my record. not only do I have a bum arm slowing me down, but i feel a great lack of support from my companions and the ward in which i serve. having typed that with my one hand, (gives me more time to let what i say sink in.) i realize that i've once again sunk into the role of the "me" monster. (yes, sister fielding just used a brian regan quote. some habits just don't change ;D) i really need to forget myself. it's harder when your own pain is so hindering but it's not impossible. i received a really encouraging email from all the oldest of the pairs this week. everyone had such amazing experiences this week. that really helped me remember why i am here. i am the weakest of the weak. i want to come home so badly and collect that hug, but i know that that is not God's will for me right now. i am going to fight to stay here because this will make me stronger. can you imagine if this happened when i had kids? i would have to have a super husband for it to work the way i am now.

I am doing the very best i can. i don't give up anymore. it's amazing how much strength the Lord can show you and give you when you have faith. faith is more just a passive belief. faith is pressing forward believing the Lord will make everything okay. you can't see the end result, but you trust in God.

Sister Shavonne Fielding