APRIL 16th

This week was one of those weeks where everything that could go wrong, almost did. We were prompted to leave our apartment one night because of certain circumstances. I got all caught up in silly drama that didn't need to exist. Then I found out Uncle Vern died...I was kind of a wreck by the time Friday came along. I'll miss Uncle Vern. I really liked him. But I know he's definitely happy where he is now.

Thank you also for the pictures! Everyone has gotten so stinkin' tall! Where is the justice in this system?? Haha

I learned some very valuable lessons this week though.  The main theme was probably that of patience and faith in the love of God. I felt like a failure because things were rapidly spinning out of my control. Every time I think I have a handle on things, the Lord helps me to see that I really don't. Not that I'm bad but that I simply cannot do this on my own. I am learning that we need to rely on the Lord at ALL times. Even in the times of plenty and prosperity.

We are teaching some wonderful people right now. I'm sure you'll be hearing about their baptism soon. But all of this joy quickly gets overshadowed sometimes when those I have come to love most choose not to take that step. I know, everyone has their agency. But sometimes it is just so heartbreaking to know that I may not be here when they finally get that desire to make a change of heart. I have never really cried so much for those not in my family before. I love everyone but this is different. I would gladly suffer any pain, fatigue or hardship just for them to progress toward exaltation. Is this what it is like to be a parent? Or is it even more intense? Oh boy.

Satan is working hard on me and Sister Shaver. I have probably missed you and the family most this week than I have any other time on my mission. I can't really describe what has come over me but the people of King Benjamin can. "...we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually." (Mosiah 5:2) This mighty change of heart has changed me to a different person. I am different. I love my Savior and I KNOW I love my Savior. I know He loves me. I know this church is the same church Christ established in His mortal ministry, restored through the prophet Joseph Smith. It is led and guided by a living prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. What an amazing feeling it is to know that we can become more strongly converted each and every day! All it takes is a constant renewal of our commitment and added faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I have a living witness that Jesus is the Christ. He is our Savior and Redeemer. He knows us and our situation. He knows how to brighten the darkest night and cheer the heaviest heart. I love Him.

Mom, I am so glad to be out here. I can't imagine myself anywhere else. What an amazing experience this is! I hope Aaron enjoys his mission as much as I am enjoying mine. This is planting me firmly in my life's purpose. I love it!

Love,

Sister Shavonne Fielding